Tough Love
Men's Work Training.
The relationship skills no one ever taught you — built into your body, practiced with a brotherhood of men, and carried into your partnership for good.
You know something needs to change. You just haven't had the right tools.
Most men in committed relationships were never taught how to navigate them. Not really. You've read the books, had the hard conversations, tried to be better. And still — the same fights. The same shutdowns. The same distance.
This program doesn't add more insight to the pile. It trains you. Over twelve months, with a group of equally committed men, you build the skills that insight alone can't deliver.
- —You want to get to the root of what drives your relational patterns — not just manage them
- —You're ready to be challenged and genuinely supported at the same time
- —You want real skills and the chance to practice them — not theory
- —You're willing to take a sober look in the mirror and make real, lasting change
- —You want to grow your capacity to stay present and lead with love — even when it's hard
"Connection is the cure. The insights, the breakthroughs, the catharsis — they are useful. But connection is what heals."
Three principles that anchor everything.
These aren't slogans. They're the operating system of the work — what every session, every practice, and every conversation returns to.
Connection is the Cure
Breakthroughs matter. Catharsis matters. But connection is what heals — and brings about the deep, abiding joy that most men have stopped believing is possible.
Love as a Verb
It isn't about what you say. It's about what you do. Love is a daily practice — in the moments that are easy, and the ones that aren't.
Love Demands Democracy
Deep, abiding love is a continual renegotiation — of needs, of growth, of who each of you is becoming. Space for both people. Always.
Twelve months. Twelve themes. A complete arc.
Each month goes deeper than the last. The work is cumulative — what you learn in Month 1 lives inside Month 12.
Breaking Out of Patriarchy
One-up / one-down thinking. The three rings of patriarchy. Where it lives in you.
Grandiosity
The armor you built. How superiority keeps love at a distance.
Shame
The shadow side of grandiosity. What you've hidden — and what it costs you.
Attachment Styles
Walled off. Avoidant. Love addiction. Anxious attachment. How your early wounds shape your partnership now.
Childhood Roles
Hero. Scapegoat. Lost Child. The role you learned to play — and how it still runs your relationships.
Losing Strategies
Retaliation. Unbridled self-expression. The moves you make that push love away.
Control
Being right. Overt and covert control. How the need to win destroys the "us."
Withdrawal
Unilateral shutdown vs. genuine overwhelm. Learning the difference — and what to do instead.
Your Relational Dance
The recurring pattern between you and your partner. Seeing it clearly — then changing the steps.
Social Roles & Power
Race, class, and social power — how the world outside shapes the dynamic inside your relationship.
The Shadow of Sex
What sexuality reveals about the unmet parts of yourself — and what it asks of you relationally.
Shared Power & Relational Joy
What it looks and feels like to be genuinely in it together. The destination — and a new beginning.
Built for real accountability.
Monthly live sessions
- —Two sessions monthly — one led by Luke, one by Ryan
- —2 hours per session
- —Triple Fire check-in, hot seat coaching, breakout rooms
- —Key teachings drawn from the month's theme
- —Closing blessing from Luke to each man
Group-led monthly session
- —3x3 check-in: 7 minutes per man, 3 minutes of reflection
- —"Where I felt you most was…" — no advice giving
- —Each man names his accountability for the coming weeks
- —Closing: "My intention this week relationally is…"
Between sessions
- —Monthly dyad partner for between-session check-ins
- —WhatsApp group container — weekly prompts, peer support, coaching feedback
- —Access to the existing Tough Love Masterclass
This is not for every man.
This work asks something real of you. It isn't passive. It isn't comfortable. And it isn't a substitute for the commitment it takes to change.
If you're not sure, start with the Tough Love Masterclass and see what it stirs in you. That's what it's there for.
Start with the Masterclass →
- —You want to observe rather than participate
- —You believe relationship skills can be developed through intellect alone
- —You are unwilling to look at the impact your behavior has on your partner
- —You're currently experiencing a severe mental health crisis
Decades of combined experience.
Tough Love is co-led by Luke Adler and Ryan Ginn. We both know what it's like to blow up our relationships, face the music, and build the skills required to actually lead with love.
Luke's work is grounded in somatic intelligence and spiritual psychology. His approach is direct but loving — cutting through defense mechanisms to reach the truth underneath.
Ryan spent years working within the Mankind Project and other men's containers. His style is grounded, practical, and highly attuned to relational dynamics and attachment wounds.
What men are saying.
"I had no idea how much of myself I was hiding, even from my wife. This group gave me the mirror I didn't know I needed."
"The difference in my marriage is profound. Not because we don't fight, but because I actually know how to stay in the room when we do."
"Luke and Ryan hold a space that is absolutely uncompromising in its honesty, but never shaming. It changed my life."
Not ready for a 12-month commitment?
The Tough Love Masterclass is a 6-week self-led course covering the foundational principles.
The next cohort begins March 2026.
This program is by application only. Spots are limited to ensure intimacy and accountability.
Apply via Contact →Not ready to apply? Start with the Masterclass.